Johnson tops in qualifying at Bristol

Autoracing Betting Lines

08/20/2010 - Bristol, TN (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Jimmie Johnson picked up his first pole of the season by winning Friday's qualifying for the IRWIN Tools Night Race at Bristol Motor Speedway.

Johnson, who won at Bristol for the first time in March, posted a lap of 123.475 m.p.h. around the 0.533-mile, high-banked oval for his 24th career Sprint Cup Series pole, but his first since last year's season-ending race at Homestead.

"We have a lot of things going in the right direction for us here," Johnson said after claiming his first pole at Bristol. "We all know how important track position is, and your pit stall pick, so we have the best of both worlds starting on the front row. But we'll have to be smart, because there's no safe place on this racetrack."

Johnson, the four-time defending series champion, knocked Carl Edwards off of the pole position shortly after Edwards' qualifying lap of 122.937 m.p.h., which put him on the outside pole.

"I felt like the line I ran around the top was the line that was going to get the pole, but I watched Jimmie use the bottom, and I thought, 'there's no way, he's going to be slow,' but somehow he made it work, so those guys did a good job."

Joey Logano qualified third, while Tony Stewart and David Reutimann rounded out the top-five. Reutimann suffered from food poisoning and had Aric Almirola drive his car during the first of two practices earlier in the day. Reutimann recuperated from his stomach ailment in time to participate in the final practice.

Ryan Newman took the sixth spot, followed by Jamie McMurray, Juan Pablo Montoya, Martin Truex Jr. and A.J. Allmendinger.

Kevin Harvick, the current points leader, will start 28th. Harvick holds a 293-point advantage over second-place Jeff Gordon, who will start 26th, one position ahead of his Hendrick Motorsports teammate Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Dave Blaney, Joe Nemechek, Kevin Lepage, J.J. Yeley, Brian Keselowski and Mike Bliss failed to qualify.

Saturday's 500-lap race at Bristol is scheduled to start shortly after 7:30 p.m. (et).

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FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

NFL Football Trash Talk

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.

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